Ms. 20-something
"...not a phone in my name, ain't got nothing, running from love, only know fear" - SZA
I read a post on Twitter months before my 25th birthday (16 December, Sag babies we outside!!) and it was about how once we turn 25, the decisions we make are more informed, that something starts to “click” in our brains. This is based on the fact that the development of our prefrontal cortex is not complete until the age of 25. This is MAD to me because I made a whole bunch of life-altering choices before I even turned 21. Story for another day, though.
Although I haven't experienced an earth-shattering “aha moment” during my quarter-life crisis, I have observed one thing. It has become increasingly difficult for me to deceive myself. I can no longer lie about who I am or what I want, nor can I settle for less for fear of appearing too demanding. I refuse to downplay my aspirations and goals to match those of individuals who have given up on their dreams.
When I was younger, I would internalize people’s perceptions and opinions of me so deeply that I would embody them to appeal to their taste. This is a mad ‘ting to do because people do not even have fully formed ideas or perceptions of themselves, of who they are and what they want from this life. To go along with their uninformed notions is extremely dangerous and kind of like, very pathetic.
I am realizing that we have no control over the environments we are born into, and how they shape us in our early years. However, we can exert some control over the type of person we become and how we use the knowledge we have gained so far.
Mistakes are a part of the journey, that is how our brains grow. When you are small and you touch a hot stove - you burn. Then, you learn. Just like that. Everything in life is like touching a hot stove and if we don’t learn, we will keep burning, returning to the same cycle of lessons over and over again.
Being born into a dysfunctional family does not necessarily mean that you will end up as a dysfunctional adult. The decision to strive for a better life is a personal one, and no one can force you to take care of yourself. It is important to remember that the consequences of neglecting self-care will ultimately be experienced by no one else but you.
Cheers to living and learning without fear!